Perhaps it really just boils down to what little passion I did have for my area of study no longer serves me in the continuation of my studies.  I’ve sat on this for nearly two whole years and here I am suffering in my fifth semester.  Currently I am a Biology Education student with a Chemistry minor, and I have completed enough of my major to actually have a minor in it.

This entire semester, I’ve been pitching the idea to my friends that I am thinking of changing my major.  I have found a few people who are excited as I am for the prospect of changing my major.  Some aren’t.  I’ve been asked about why am I changing my mind so late in the game.  And I couldn’t tell you how much that actually hurt to hear.  But I remained steadfast and gave this reasoning:  I am unhappy, and I have no passion for what I am doing right now.  The words sounded good, they resounded in my mind.  It possessed the quality of sounded of what a confident me would have said.  For the friends that were sympathetic and shared my dream of doing what I dreamed of doing, I am eternally grateful.  My dear friend John gave me just enough of the push in the right direction to start this new path.

And from this diversion, I walked onto another road which was laced with more bends and turns that I had known before.  Suddenly, the future of living with my ex-fiance has come back into view.  My childhood dream of becoming a part of a development team for a video game is back into view.  Moving to another state when (as a friend’s mother puts it) my gypsy blood is boiling has come back into view.  So many interesting things are happening because I am taking steps forward in my life.

In my heart, I also know that if I do not completely succeed, that if I don’t go into designing the characters for the video games I want.  But the fact that I am going to try is going to is so uplifting.  And there’s a chance I may end up with my ex-fiance (which is a hot topic in my life) and that won’t be botched by my pursuing this.  There are so many opportunities.  I can more openly express my religion and find the materials needed to practice my paganism.  But it feels right.  Even though I will be leaving behind some wonderful friends, I am going to try and hold onto them!

Recently I got a call from a school that I had requested some info from.  It’s been mentioned in another post.  An admissions rep called me and it was a very productive conversation that left me feeling very positive.

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