Over coffee and fries, engrossed in an intense conversation: “We should be really proud of ourselves. Right now it is really hard to see our progress because we are still in the middle of changing.” He nodded in agreement and we sat there basking in our own epiphanies.
Throughout our lives we are bound to change. Change itself is not a bad thing; I honestly think it is the reason people fall in and out of relationships (both romantic and friendly and in-between). The changes occur outside the other’s experiences. We were both exchanging our feelings with changes that we’d been working on for quite some time. For me, my work involves changing my lifestyle. I want to lose weight and I want to feel healthy and things of the like. At the same time I also wanted to work on building a strong emotional and mental foundation. It is going pretty well. Since winter of last year I’ve lost 30 lbs almost (hitting 198 really hit me). I feel a lot better except for right now because I have an infection and am a little sick. Mentally is a little harder but my thoughts are changing. I hate myself doesn’t cycle through my head as much. Things like I’m fat and you are worthless don’t pop up as often. Emotionally I feel… freer to feel. That sounds ridiculous but it was not always so. Two people in the world give me hope and courage to be myself.
Take care of yourself.