Today was a in part spent talking to Tracy about a myriad of topics – as usual. I’d like to say I am thankful for the practitioners of mental health, disorder, and illness. Without the aid of certain counselors I am sure I would have gone bonkers way back when.
((And I am also thankful for phone reminders. They are a lifesaver. (Really.)
As I was about to step outside the door for crickets for Sebastian my tiger salamander, my phone beeped. Up came my counselor’s name and I felt a bit sheepish for forgetting such an important appointment. So my extremely awesome roommate drove me to the Student Union and the session was on! My conclusions:
We talked about many things, as usual. I talked to her about my relationships with my friends and how the guy I have feelings for (we’re beyond crush now!) tried hooking me up with another one of my friends whom I have no attraction to on my birthday. I even brought it up when he, myself and my roommate went out for a little something to drink. I simply, “So-and-so aren’t going to work out. Stop it.” But then he wanted to know why. “I don’t want to.” He’s not my type – he’s not aggressive enough. I like aggressive people. Plus having the person you like try to dump you on someone else (although so-and-so would make a good boyfriend) is annoying and just blows in general. #1: If someone tells you they don’t want to date another person, 8/10, don’t push it.
This lead to an interesting tangent on being single. I was told that I will be single forever unless I lower my standards and stop being picky. #2: I will lower my standards when… Actually I won’t. The few times I have it hasn’t gone well for me. #3: I enjoy being picky. I guess it is hard for him to understand as well because he doesn’t like being lonely. I’m not sure many people do. But I don’t feel lonely. I’m enjoying being alone. #4: Being alone can be a good thing! I’m learning more things about myself and I have more time to enjoy it. I don’t feel like I am attached to someone else’s schedule or manner of doing things. #5: Independence rocks both in and out of relationships!
This tangent on being single lead to another tangent on getting laid. So we looked at my roommate who could use a happy ending and this lead to several new conclusions. #6 Ayinger Oktober Fest-Marzen (http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/39/1361 see what people are saying about it there) is really good. I was a little buzzed after drinking a glass of Magners and hammering through this Ayinger. #7: Common sense – you don’t make your best decisions with alcohol. A slap bet was issued! It was decided that my roommate and I would race to christen our little apartment. First one to get laid in the apartment wins and according to Slap Bet Commissioner’s rules the number of slaps (oh, multiple slaps now) is in proportion to time (though I’m not exactly sure in what way) and if he suspects any one of us is trying to let the other person win then there will be consequences. This leads to #8 and #9, respectively, Slap Bets are ridiculously fun! if and only if You and the other person are competitive if it applies, otherwise you better be betting on an outcome like I bet so-and-so is not going to pass their test tomorrow! I am extremely competitive. My roommate? Not. At. All. In all truth I would like for him to win.
Other than that my relationships with people have been really awesome. I’m feeling less guilty about cutting out the dead weight in my life and do my best to keep open positive and potentially beneficial partnerships down the road. #10: If at any time in your life you are unsure of what to do (like in a relationship) that’s ohk as long as you don’t stay there. Don’t let people hang and don’t let them wait for extended periods of time. That’s cruel. For parents, in my situation, that’s true as well. I am unsure of what relationship I wish to have with my parents, but at this point in my conversation with Tracy, we’re focusing on my mom who took care of me. We struggle because we are very different people (who doesn’t have this problem) and value so many different things. We also struggle for power because our interactions weren’t always of the typical daughter-mother type. #11: Don’t be afraid to say what you want even if it hurts someone. I’m still learning how to do this. I don’t wish to spend Christmas with them, and I have a lot of non-personal reasons I need to be back before the actual holidays. #12: Family exists outside of blood. She’s my stepmom. We struggle to communicate all the time. My biological parents and I don’t have a very good relationship with one another. They haven’t been there. That’s ohk. I’ve friends who are truly more my family than the people who took care of me (sorry mom! [referencing above mentioned Step Mom]). #13: You are the biggest factor in determining how you handle your life. Create your world to suit yourself. Let go of the toxins and the poisonous influence.
Our last topic was spared a bit on future plans. Financially it would be smarter for me to stay in my current “city” and save like a mad man and then move out to California. I’d hate to wait, but this is one of those times that I need to plan it out right. #14: Be spontaneous, not rash. There’s a good difference there. I simply don’t have the money. I also would need to secure a job. Kind of hard when you’re several states away and you work at a local pizza place. In the meantime, I’m going to allow myself to focus on art. The last conclusions I came to carried over from last night. #15: Keep educating yourself in whatever way possible. I can’t tell you how much I learn from Stumble Upon, listening to people’s conversations (not as creepy as it sounds!), doing things, playing video games, and reading anything! Keep yourself stimulated!
And now for the conclusion of this masterfully long post: #16: Live your life for you. It’s yours. So enjoy it! : 3