Condom packages on dining room table. One used, empty. The other still waiting. Flour all over the kitchen counters, sink full of dishes and apartment air muggy. Coffee table with dirty dishes, one plate with food still on it and two cups.
Here are some rules to help you and your roommate get along:
1) Communicate: when a problem arises, nip it in the bud and take care of it then and there. The longer someone goes without speaking the more habitual and OK it becomes. Listen to one another and find a good middle ground or compromise.
2) Respect your roommate: you are sharing a living space so ample amounts of respect needs to be had on both sides.
A) If you make a mess, clean it up ASAP
B) If you’re roommate’s sleeping and it is within their normal sleeping range, be quiet.
C) Do not eat their food unless you’ve been given permission or have an arrangement set up beforehand. If
they have offered you some of their food or you’ve been given permission, check with them every time before
you do – just in case.
– this also applies to their things. Coming back to a broken T.V. and no explanation or apology really hurts
D) If you are going to have guests over, check with your roommate.
– Guests are guests: not extra roommates
– monitor your guests and make sure they are respectful to your place and your roommate and their things
– Boyfriends/Girlfriends: try to keep the PDA levels at a minimum. Please don’t go munching on each
others faces and grabbing you-know-what while they are around. Teasing each other is ohk. Starting a
porno on your couch in front of your roommate is not.
: Sex is good and healthy, in certain doses. Your roommate doesn’t need to hear you and your SO
going at it all the time though. If you’re planning on having sex, give your roommate a heads up.
If your planning goes around the time that your roommate is due home and you haven’t given them a
heads up, plan as if they are coming home an hour early.
: unless your romantic partner is living with you lease wise, they do not live with you. It’s super
awkward to come back to find someone else’s stuff in your space. It is also super awkward when you
see them as frequently as your roommate or more often.
: for god’s sake, clean up too!
3) Be Mature: don’t be passive-aggressive!
“My roommate and I sometimes leave our things in common areas (for example the living room, kitchen). Some nights I would come back home after he finally decided to clean and find all those things tossed into my room. Literally tossed. What really pissed me off was how much of his stuff still remained in the living room. It was like I didn’t live there sometimes.”
It’s mean. It’s evil. And it can be downright fun sometimes. However, your first response to situations should always be to communicate the idea that something’s not working out. If tossing empty boxes of their newly bought toys doesn’t work, straight up tell them to take out the trash. Bottom Line: effectively communicate with one another.
4) Know When to Call it Quits
It’s sucky. You’ve tried to communicate with your roommate and it’s failed. You’ve pleaded with your roommate to shape up and they just shrugged it off. If you keep beating your head against the same wall and nothing is changing and you only wind up with a worse headache, you’ve reached insanity. This is the point when you should seriously consider moving out. Sometimes communication fails. Sometimes they don’t care enough about the things that bother you to change or improve upon their bad habits. Sometimes you can’t make compromises. Whatever the reasons if your home is no longer a home, or a sanctuary, you need to get out. You should always look forward to coming home to recharge and get some R and R.
Stress needs to be managed and it can involve something drastic: like moving out. It’s can be scary (I know)! You’re leaving an established abode and traveling into the unknown. But if you don’t make an effort to change something you’re not going to feel any better.
I’ll write up a little post on how to move out later. Probably once I start my own process because my current living arrangement isn’t working out.
Friends are dandy and all, and living with them can lead to good times. But you either become closer than ever before or you become the murder suspect. Take Away: Good friends don’t always make for good roommates.